Tom has thrown a spanner in the works. He says they have decided to go out in Plymouth instead, and maybe see a band. This is absolutely not what I want. I just don't think I could face that. In fact however much I hate the idea of staying here again tonight on my own, I just don't think I have the strength to go out at all. I knew this would happen. No matter how strong I try to be, the fact is I am totally on my own and no one has the slightest clue how hard it is to do anything. The initial grieving period for Judy is over, and everyone has gone back to their normal lives. And they assume I have as well even though (quite obviously) my normal life has been completely destroyed. Oh I will get the odd phone call from people asking me how I am, but I honestly do not expect one single person to do anything what so ever to help me. Because they can't help me can they? They just don't know how. This house is so deathly silent. I'm not sure how long I can bear it.