Only a month to go now before my climb up Kilimanjaro. I wonder what you would think Judy? You'd probably be asking lots of questions about Kerrie and Amy knowing you. I can hear your voice saying "Are they pretty? Which one do you fancy?" But I hope you will be proud of what I am doing. If I could have put this much effort and energy into helping you when you were alive maybe you'd still be here now. I would swap all of this just to have you back my darling. For the truth is, that my life has been busier than ever these last few months, but it has still felt dull and empty without you. I can't remember the last time I laughed helplessly, like we used to over something really silly. I miss that more than anything, just as I miss the way you talked to Lily, or even the way you talked to me when you wanted a special favour. My life can never be the same without you my darling girl.