As I said last weekend this is the time that is hardest for me. I have just spent over half an hour crying uncontrollably because I decided to sort through a draw which had lots of birthday cards in it. The one that set me off the most was the one Judy sent me on my 4oth birthday. The one from last year is sitting on the shelf, but as soon as I saw this previous one I was just un-able to control my emotions. It was just such a happy day and I cannot believe I will never experience such days with her again. It is truly heartbreaking. On a positive note I did speak with this lady (Jaqui)today. I met her before Christams in Totnes. She lost her husband 3 years ago and seems like a very wise and spiritual person. Someone I hope I will find it a comfort to speak to in the coming months.